


Coming to Terms With the End of The World

by Kalcifer



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: Because Crona deserves to be happy, Body Horror, Canon - Anime, Child Abuse, Gen, Happy Ending, Manipulation, ResBang 2016
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-16 00:41:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9266135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalcifer/pseuds/Kalcifer
Summary: Crona barely remembers a time before Ragnarok. He’s just an accepted fact of their life, making his opinion known on absolutely everything they do. As events unfold, the rest of their world may be upended, but some things don’t change.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> And here we have my other entry for resbang this year! My artist for this one is the incredible AlmanacComics, [whose art can be seen here.](http://almanaccomics.tumblr.com/post/155615724386/resbang-2016-coming-to-terms-with-the-end-of-the) Make sure you go check it out, because it is wonderful.
> 
> Huge thanks also go to my betas, Flurrin and Noah, for taking a mess of half-formed ideas and shaping it into something coherent.

For meisters at the DWMA, choosing a weapon was an involved process. While the initial selection was often a snap decision, figuring out if someone could actually match your soul was much harder. It generally involved lengthy emotional conversations, a trial period, and terrible online quizzes “guaranteed” to determine compatibility.

None of this was an option for Crona. The day they met their weapon, they hadn’t even known what was going on.

They were four or five, they thought, though no one had bothered to keep track. It had been a day or two since their mother had last checked on them, and they were getting really hungry. They knew better than to make any noise that might distract her, though. She didn’t like being disturbed when she was in her laboratory.

When their mother did come to see them, they were so excited they nearly forgot the rule about speaking out of turn. They opened their mouth to greet her, then shut it again hastily. Strangely, their mother didn’t comment on their near disobedience. She seemed almost happy, though not with them. “Today is a very important day for you, Crona,” she said. “Are you ready?”

Crona didn’t feel very ready. They were still hungry, and they weren’t sure they could deal with this mysterious important thing on an empty stomach. But they knew better than to argue, so all they said was, “Yes, Lady Medusa.”

“Good. Follow me, and try not to break anything,” their mother said.

She walked out of the room briskly, leaving Crona struggling to keep up. The weak light of the torches meant that if they got too far behind, they’d lose her, so they stayed as close to her as they could.The two of them walked in silence for an unmeasured period of time. Crona’s eyes gradually adjusted, but the hallways were labyrinthine and they still had no idea where they were. A part of them hoped it was near the kitchen, but they tried to ignore it.

Their mother finally stopped in front of a door. As far as Crona was concerned, it looked the same as all the other doors they’d passed. Then their mother started whispering to it, and it instantly took on an aura of malice. Whatever was behind that door, Crona wanted to be as far away from it as possible.

Naturally, their mother took that moment to go through the door, giving them no choice but to follow her. The room beyond was well lit, which meant that they could see every disquieting detail. The walls were lined with shelves containing both books and jars of mysterious substances. Crona thought they could see an eyeball in one of the jars, making them thankful they didn’t know what was in the others.

A cauldron was shoved up against the far wall, beside a desk which was covered in papers. Above it, a strange design was painted on the wall.

What really drew Crona’s attention, though, was the bed in the middle of the room. Like their own bed, it almost looked more like a table. Unlike their bed, there were straps across the top. Its surface was scrupulously clean. They weren’t sure if that was a good sign or not.

Next to the bed were two vials as large as Crona, one on each side. One was filled with a strange black liquid, while the other was empty. Each had a thin tube which led out of it, though Crona couldn’t see the other end of either. The black liquid swirled mesmerizingly, and they had trouble tearing their gaze away.

Their mother was clearly used to room’s contents, though, as she strode confidently to the bed. Crona hesitated for a moment before following her.

“This is it. This is the moment we’ve been waiting for,” she said. She turned to Crona and smiled, though it was far from reassuring. “If this goes wrong, you’ll just be another failed experiment, and you know what I do with those. So do try not to mess it up, okay?”

Crona swallowed. “Yes, Lady Medusa.”

She nodded toward the bed. “Shall we get started?”

Crona climbed onto the bed obediently, not moving even when their mother fastened the straps around them. They watched as she produced a syringe. They lay completely still as the world dissolved around them, their fear and hunger fading into unconsciousness.

When they woke up again, they were alone in their room. It was the usual state of things, but something felt off. Nothing was immediately obvious, but their body felt somehow wrong.

They sat up and tried to figure out what it was. After a moment, they realized: something under their skin was moving.

Crona screamed before they could stop themself. Their mother would be mad, and the thought made them feel worse, but it was all just too much for that moment.

They felt a surge of dizziness, and then something erupted from their back. It wasn’t painful, quite, but the extra weight at their back nearly made them topple over.  

“Keep it down, will you?” an unfamiliar voice snapped from behind them.

Their mouth clicked shut automatically. They didn’t know who was speaking, but they knew it was always best to do as you were told. They considered twisting to see where the voice was coming from and what the strange feeling had been, but with everything else happening they weren’t sure they could deal with that knowledge. “I’m sorry,” they said instead.

“Hmmph. Am I really going to be stuck with someone like you?” the voice said.

Crona resisted the urge to apologize again, though they weren’t sure what they were apologizing for. There was a far more pressing question, after all. “Ummm… Who are you?” they asked.

“I’m the Demon Sword, Ragnarok!” the voice said. It sounded proud and expectant, as if it expected Crona to recognize the name.

They didn’t, of course. “Nice to meet you, Ragnarok,” they said. “I’m Crona.”

“That’s it? No fear, or awe or anything? I expected a little trembling, you know!”

Crona couldn’t seem to do anything right today. Then again, they were kind of used to that. “I’m sorry,” they said. “I could try to scream again if you want?”

There was a sigh. “There’s no point,you’ve already taken the fun out of it,” the voice said. “But the least you can do is shake my hand!”

The speaker leaned forward to reveal a body only mostly humanoid. He was black and almost shiny, while his eyes were pure white and had no sockets, bulging directly from his head. He seemed to be wearing gloves, as his hands were white, though given the texture of his skin Crona couldn’t be sure. Spikes stuck out of his body seemingly at random.

Most disturbingly, however, he didn’t have legs. His torso emerged directly from Crona’s back.

Faced with such a grotesque sight, Crona did the only thing they could think to do: they started screaming again.

“Ugh, this again? That’s what I get for being polite,” Ragnarok said. “Let me know when you’ve stopped being this annoying.”

The dizziness returned for a moment, and then Crona was once again alone.


	2. Chapter 2

It took remarkably little time for Crona to get used to Ragnarok’s presence. It wasn’t like they had that much else to think about, and constant exposure could make anything normal. He just became a part of their life, like the emptiness of their room and the gratifying (if nerve-wracking) visits from their mother.

Visits that were increasingly frequent, lately. After she had confirmed that both Crona and Ragnarok had survived the procedure, she began running tests. They were simple at first, just coaxing Ragnarok into appearing and disappearing. Crona didn’t really mind, as they were getting fed regularly without having to do much of anything.

Ragnarok, on the other hand, was almost subdued. He still snapped at Crona occasionally, but he spent most of the day submerged in their bloodstream. For the most part, he only appeared when their mother summoned him, and then he said nothing unless ordered to.

As the tests became more complex, though, Crona was drawn back into the process. They learned that Ragnarok was capable of being a sword as well as the homunculus attached to their back, and that they were expected to learn how to wield that sword.

The first step was apparently to “feel Ragnarok’s soul”. Their mother wouldn’t give them any further instruction, saying that they should be able to accomplish that much with ease. They stood there, sword in hand, trying to figure out exactly what she meant. But without instruction, they didn’t even know where to start, and an hour later they had made no progress. For the first time in a while, they went to bed without any food.

Ragnarok made a rare spontaneous appearance that night. “Crona, you idiot!” he screeched. “Can’t you do anything right? I’m hungry too, you know!”

Crona had nearly had a heart attack at the sudden combination of loud noises and discomfort, but they pulled themself together as best they could. “I’m sorry, Ragnarok,” they said. “I just don’t know anything about souls.”

“Well, you better hurry up and learn,” Ragnarok said. “My supper is on the line!”

Crona’s was too, of course,, but now didn’t seem like the time to bring that up. “Okay,” they said instead. “Ummm… do you want to practice now?”

Ragnarok snorted. “I don’t want to do anything with a dummy like you, but if it means we can actually eat tomorrow I guess we can.”

Crona blinked, and suddenly they were holding a sword. “You know where I am, so just reach out to my soul. Even you should be able to manage that,” Ragnarok said. His voice was hollow, even for him.

Crona closed their eyes, trying to picture Ragnarok’s soul. They reached out mentally to where the sword was, trying to find something that felt like what they were picturing, that felt like Ragnarok.

There was a moment of awareness where they could feel Ragnarok in their hands, could almost feel power just out of their reach. They strained harder, trying to bridge the distance between them. Their souls were almost touching, they thought. Just a little farther…

The connection snapped, and Crona was thrown back into their own mind. It felt strangely confining, somehow, but they shoved the feeling to the side. There was a chance they’d imagined the whole experience in an attempt to appease Ragnarok, and even if they hadn’t they had other things to worry about. “Did it work?” they asked.

“Obviously not,” he said. “You’d be able to tell if it did. Now get it right this time!”

It would have been much easier if someone actually told them what they were supposed to be doing, Crona thought, bemused and faintly annoyed. They quickly shifted their focus to the task at hand. It seemed like they were making progress, so they decided to try the same thing again.

Once again, they seemed to feel Ragnarok as a presence within the weapon. There was the same feeling of power, and again they grabbed for it, trying to claim it for their own. But just like before, it darted out of their grasp, and they were enclosed within the limits of their own head.

“I’m waiting!” Ragnarok said. Crona steeled themself for another attempt.

This process repeated itself several more times before Ragnarok finally sighed. “You can’t even do this much? Fine, I’ll step in. But you have to ask nicely first.”

By that point, Crona just wanted to go to sleep. They had been doing their best to try to reach Ragnarok’s soul, and whether they were making progress or not they were expending a lot of energy. “Please help me, Ragnarok,” they said.

“I guess that will do,” Ragnarok said.

There was a moment in which nothing happened, and Crona wondered if Ragnarok had ever done this either. Then, suddenly, they felt a horrible constricting feeling, like the time their mother had left them to “play” with one of her pythons. It had wrapped around their arm and squeezed until they’d thought it was going to cut the arm off. Now, it felt like someone was doing the same thing to their soul.

“There, that’s my soul,” Ragnarok said. “Now that you know what it feels like, you can try to reach it. Try not to take too long, I’m sick of your face already!”

Crona wasn’t entirely sure they wanted to reach Ragnarok’s soul, not if it felt like that. But they wanted to disappoint their mother even less, so they hesitantly reached out one more time.

This time, when they got to where they could feel Ragnarok’s presence, they paused. His soul had sort of felt a certain way when he’d touched theirs, so maybe if they mimicked that feeling they could touch his.

Not that they had any idea how to do that, but it was something new to try. They tried to imitate the feeling of confidence and aggression that had emanated from Ragnarok. Their souls actually seemed to synchronize a little, and Crona flinched.

That was what did it. As they cringed away, Ragnarok’s soul came forward and once again surrounded theirs. The feeling was slightly less oppressive for being familiar, but no less intimidating.

Crona tore themself away from Ragnarok’s soul, shaking. Nothing about that experience could be considered desirable. Ragnarok, on the other hand, was laughing. “Finally!” he said. “I knew you couldn’t be completely useless. Now go to sleep or something, I don’t want you bothering me any more.”

He vanished, and Crona lay down obediently. They didn’t expect to get any sleep, though, not while they still remembered the feeling of Ragnarok’s soul and the lure of power just out of their reach.

Eventually, their mother came back, telling them once again to find Ragnarok’s soul. They weren’t sure they could deal with that again, at least not so soon, but they showed her their progress anyway. They thought she praised them, though their attention was too split to notice.

All that matter was that she left soon after, leaving behind food and a growing sense of apprehension in the pit of their stomach.


	3. Chapter 3

Once Crona and Ragnarok were able to reach each others’ souls, progress came quickly. Crona had never used a sword before, but it wasn’t that hard to slash randomly, and most of the time that was all they needed.

Crona still didn’t like the feeling of Ragnarok’s soul, but they were slowly getting used to it. If they tried to make themself as small as they could, it didn’t grate on them nearly as much.

It was pretty much the same tactic they used when they were around their mother, and it worked about as well. They just did as they were told during their lessons and tried not to be a nuisance the rest of the time, and mostly they were left alone.

At least until the day their mother announced a special test. “Think of it like a final exam,” she’d said. Crona wasn’t quite sure what she meant, but it sounded important. They hoped they didn’t mess it up.

For the test, their mother brought them out of their room and to a part of the castle they’d never been before. Admittedly, that didn’t mean much, as they rarely left their room, but it was still kind of exciting.

In the room was a small dragon, and Crona smiled at it. It was so cute! Maybe they’d have to take care of it, they thought. They could try to prove that they were responsible enough to manage on their own.

“Cute, isn’t it?” their mother said. “Kill it.”

Crona felt like an idiot for being shocked by the command. Still, she couldn’t be serious, could she? “But, but, it’s so small and innocent!”

“I gave you an order. Now, defeat it, Crona.”

They knew they were only making things worse for themself, that they shouldn’t argue with their mother. But they looked at the dragon again, and they knew they couldn’t bring themself to obey. “I can’t do it!” they said. “I don’t know how to deal with something like this right now!”

They started crying, but their mother remained unmoved. She looked at them for a moment longer, eyes full of contempt, then grabbed their arm. She dragged them into yet another room, this one dark and cold and empty. She shoved Crona in. “You are a bad child. I want you out of my sight,” she said. “This is your punishment. You’ll be locked in this room for a long, long, time, so get used to it.”

Crona protested, but nothing they said could change their mother’s mind. The door closed, leaving them alone in the dark. They were used to her leaving for days at a time, but it was dark, and it was cold, and they wanted to go back to their room where it was safe.

They sat there whimpering until Ragnarok appeared. His expression was unamused. “I should have known you’d mess this up,” he said.

Crona shivered. He’d insulted them before, but his voice had never sounded this flat. “I don’t understand…” they said.

“It looks like you’re going to need another private lesson. Here, let me show you what you should have done.”

He pulled his hand back and deliberately punched Crona in the back of the head. Their knees bucklked, and they nearly collapsed. “Ow!” they said. “You’re hurting me.”

“Good,” Ragnarok said. “Maybe this way you’ll actually learn something.”  He hit them again, forcing them to the floor.

They felt like they were missing something, like everyone was playing a sick joke on them. Ragnarok was acting weird, and their mother had abandoned them, and they just couldn’t deal with any of it. “Ragnarok?” they asked tentatively. Any minute he’d start laughing and things could go back to normal.

But he just hit them again and again, no matter how much Crona begged for him to stop. “You should have thought of that before you got us locked in here!” he said, and then he stopped talking to them entirely.

When the onslaught finally stopped, Crona lay on the floor, panting quietly. They were too scared to move. Eventually their mother appeared, though they didn’t hear her at first over the sound of their own sniffling. The light streaming through the door got their attention, though. They ran over to her as quickly as they could. “He’s so mean!” they said. “Ragnarok keeps beating me up, and it hurts and I don’t like it! Please, make him stop hurting me!”

Their mother ignored their pleas. “Come, we’re picking up where we left off. You will defeat it this time,” she said.

Crona’s breath caught. They wanted everything to stop, but they weren’t sure they could kill something. The image of its body, cold and unmoving, flashed through their mind. Their robe would be splattered with its blood…

They stood frozen in indecision for a long moment. Their mother tsked. “You really are bad, aren’t you? Vector plate.” They were thrown back into the room by the arrow that appeared at their feet. “You can stay out of my sight for a while longer. Do try to think about how much trouble you’re causing.”

Ragnarok reappeared the moment the door closed. “You absolute moron!” he yelled. He sounded more like his usual self, but that was hardly comforting. “If that wasn’t enough to convince you, I don’t know what is! I guess we’ll just have to find out.”

Crona wasn’t sure if he was actually hitting them harder this time, or if it was just that he was hitting their bruises from earlier. They didn’t really care, either. It hurt, and it was dark, and they didn’t want to kill the little one, but it hurt, and it was dark, and they couldn’t deal with any of it.

The second time their mother came by to check on them, they didn’t bother running to her. They just stood up and looked at her. “Please,” they said.

She locked eyes with them and deliberately closed the door.

By the time Ragnarok started the third round of attacks, things started to blur. There was almost a pattern to the pain, with occasional interludes of blinding light as their mother came to check on them. They began to feel like they were floating away from their body, like they were just a soul floating in the room. It didn’t hurt, which was nice.

Crona thought about smiling, and their body did so. That was kind of funny, since they were no longer there. They could still sort of feel Ragnarok, at the back of their mind, at that was funny too.

Ragnarok finally stopped hitting them again, but it was too late, they were already gone. Wasn’t that hilarious? He didn’t even know!

When Lady Medusa opened the door next, Crona smiled at her. Nothing was real anymore, and it was all just so funny. “My blood is black,” they said, and smiled again because their blood had been red and now it was black, how funny.

Lady Medusa smiled back and brought them to the room that had the little one, which was funny, because of course it wasn’t really there. Or maybe it was, but Crona wasn’t. Either way, they thought it was pretty funny.

For some reason, though, the little one didn’t react. Maybe it didn’t get the joke? That was okay, it would soon. Crona would make sure of that. Ragnarok seemed to agree, because there he was, smiling too, and that was also funny because how could he be there if Crona wasn’t?

Then Ragnarok was a sword, but he was still smiling, Crona could tell, and Crona brought him down on the little one to make it smile too. Its blood got everywhere, red instead of black like Crona’s blood, which was screamingly funny.

The gash in the little one’s head smiled, and Crona smiled back. They just couldn’t stop smiling, and wasn’t that funny?


	4. Chapter 4

After the incident with the little one, Crona would have been happy to just hide in the corner for the rest of their life. Lady Medusa was disappointed in them, Ragnarok hated them, and they were a murderer. They were just so scared -- scared that they’d fall back into the madness, scared that Lady Medusa would get sick of their weakness and dispose of them, scared that something new would happen that they wouldn’t know how to deal with like they hadn’t with the little one.

But there was no way that Lady Medusa would let them stop. She’d done far too much for them already. They knew they were being ungrateful, that they owed her. Besides, if they did something bad again Ragnarok might get punished too, and they didn’t want to give him another reason to hate them.

So they did what Lady Medusa said, even as she provided more and larger victims for them. They started having to leave the castle to find creatures to kill, and they appreciated their new freedom even as they felt guilty for how they obtained it. The outside world was so big, and it was nice but it was also scary.

It wasn’t all bad, at least. Sometimes Lady Medusa would take them to the Witch’s Council, and all they’d have to do was stand still and be quiet. They were good at that. Being around all the witches scared them, especially the looks some of the others gave them, but that was just what being around other people was like.

At least no one was willing to face Lady Medusa to confront them outright. Ragnarok might love confrontation, but Crona had no idea how to deal with it.

They should have known that things were too good to last. Their outings began to take them by cities, where Crona would have to observe the people and watch where they gathered. They didn’t want to think about where this was going to end. But Lady Medusa said this would make them less afraid, and anything had to be better than the constant fear that was consuming their mind.

The fateful evening came far sooner than they would have liked. “I think we’ve waited long enough,” Lady Medusa said. “It’s time to show me that you’re more than just a quivering weakling. Defeat these people, and show them that you’re a force to be reckoned with.”

Images of the little one flashed through Crona’s mind unbidden. “Defeat it,” Lady Medusa had said then, and look what happened. Now she was asking the same thing of a human being?

But she said it would make them less scared, and it made a certain amount of sense. If they did as she said, Crona would know how to deal with these people. It would be so much easier than trying to figure it out for themself, and she said it was okay.

If they could just distance themself from their body again, it should be possible, they thought. The sickening giddiness they’d felt had to be better than their current omnipresent fear, right?

“Come on, Crona,” Ragnarok muttered. He was in sword form, already prepared to handle the people. As usual, they were just holding him back. “I won’t let you mess this up, not again. Do you want to go back to that room?”

The memories crowded Crona’s mind again, threatening to overwhelm them, so they just let go. They escaped into the laughter that left no room for fear, or doubt, or anything at all.

When they came out of the madness, they knew to expect death. That should have made it better, they thought. And this time they weren’t confronted with the evidence of what they’d done; they were back in their room with no sign of the people they’d been following. They supposed they had Lady Medusa to thank for that.

But there was also a fizzing in their veins, a feeling that was new and wholly unwelcome. Against their better judgment, they asked Ragnarok about it. “Yeah, that’s probably their souls,” he said. “Don’t worry, they were delicious!”

Crona froze. They knew they were probably overreacting, that they had already killed somebody (they were a murderer and a bad child and --). What they did to their victims’ souls after that shouldn’t matter. It wasn’t like the victims would care. And the fizzing sensation wasn’t exactly unpleasant, just strange. They knew it would stop bothering them in a day or two.

But still, something about it just felt wrong. “Are you sure it’s okay?” they asked.

“Of course it is, Lady Medusa said so,” he said. This would have been more reassuring had he not continued, “Besides, it was fun! I don’t know what you’re doing to stop being such a wimp and start resonating properly, but damn it feels good.”

Crona had sort of known that Ragnarok felt different when they distanced themself from their body, but they didn’t know why. Resonating, he’d said. What did that mean? Were they dragging Ragnarok into the madness with them? Was he leading them? They didn’t understand any of it, but they knew better to ask questions. Either they’d get answers they didn’t want, or they’d get hit again.

Of course, Ragnarok noticed their silence, but as usual he seemed unconcerned. “Eh, whatever. As long as you keep feeding me souls and stay out of my way the rest of the time, things will be good.”

Crona nodded, and Ragnarok dispersed himself into their bloodstream. They sat there and tried to ignore the fizzing in their blood and the rising urge to laugh.


	5. Chapter 5

Crona really wasn’t sure what had happened. Everything had started out so normally. They’d tracked down a large group of people, there’d been that nudge into hysteria, and they’d obtained a new collection of souls.

But then that girl had come in and started yelling something about an academy, and how what they were doing was wrong even though Lady Medusa had said it was okay. And then the man with the screw had appeared. Crona didn’t know how to deal with him, either. Lady Medusa and Ragnarok had both said to kill both the intruders, and Crona had tried, but they were better fighters than the people before. And the screw-headed man kept hitting them without really moving his hands, which might have been funny if it didn’t hurt so much.

They were ready to just disappear into their own head, they couldn’t because the man kept hitting them and hitting them without letting up, and they were used to physical pain but this was new. They about to lose, and they knew it, but he just kept coming and they couldn’t get up in time to stop him.

He hit them one last time, and there was a horrible sensation like the entire world had slipped an inch to the right and left Crona where they were, like something inside them had broken, like - they didn’t even know, because it was just sickening and deeply wrong.

They could hear themself screaming. They thought Ragnarok was screaming, too, but they couldn’t tell and they didn’t really care. They couldn’t even bring themself to care about the pain anymore, not when it was compared to the feeling that their heart was beating at the wrong frequency, too fast and too loud and slightly out of sync with their body.

They were reminded, vaguely, of when they first met Ragnarok. There was a similar feeling of full-body wrongness, but it didn’t really compare. Before had been off-putting. Now they felt like their soul was being wrenched away from their body.

The feeling seemed to stretch on into eternity, black and empty and all-consuming, but finally they managed to slip into merciful unconsciousness.

When they woke up, they were back in the pitch black room. They’d been there a few times since the little one, and it never seemed to get any better. Now, though, they could practically cry with relief. They couldn’t see their own hands, and they were going to be locked up for at least a week, but they didn’t feel like someone was tearing their soul into shreds.

They took a moment to revel in it before they realized that they could barely feel Ragnarok. He was still there, but he felt both distant and subdued. He hadn’t even shown up to punish Crona for their poor performance in the fight.

They would have loved to accept the moment of peace, but they knew it couldn’t last. Besides, they needed to talk about what had happened earlier. If Ragnarok had felt anything like what Crona had, it would be in both of their best interests to figure out how to avoid it at any costs. And if they figured it out, maybe Ragnarok would be in a good mood and go easy on them.

“About earlier…” they said, trying to sound as casual as possible. “Do you know what happened? I mean, after the fight…”

“No, but it was probably your fault,” Ragnarok muttered. He’d barely emerged from their back, and the insult was halfhearted at best.

“But you felt it too, right?”

“What, the feeling that my organs had exploded and were filling my body with poison? I assumed that was just my disgust with you.” He hit their head once, but there was no force behind it.

Crona wasn’t entirely sure about his choice of analogy, but chose to ignore it. They were pressing their luck as it was. “It’s just,” they said. “Is there anything we can do to keep it from happening again? I really don’t think I could deal with it.”

“Well, to start with, maybe you could try not getting hit by every attack some moron aims at you,” Ragnarok said. “I can only do so much, you know.”

Crona hung their head. “Thank you, and I’m sorry.” Ragnarok sighed loudly, but didn’t press the matter, so they assumed they were okay for now. “Will that really be enough, though?”

“Of course it will. What, do you not trust me to know what I’m talking about? A feeling like that could only have come from the soul, and since that attack was the only thing that would have messed with your wavelength, all you have to do is stop standing around like an idiot and learn how to dodge!”

“That makes sense.”

“Of course it does, one of us has to. Now go to sleep, you’re so tired that you’re even more stupid than usual.”

“I’m sorry,” Crona said automatically.

Ragnarok disappeared again, apparently satisfied with the conversation. Crona wasn’t entirely sure what to make of his apparent kindness. He’d barely hit them or anything, and they’d messed up really badly this time. Maybe it was a trap; he had said something about sleep deprivation earlier. Maybe he wanted them to go to sleep so he could start punishing them.

On the other hand, if they didn’t do what he said it would probably be even worse, and Ragnarok would just find some other way to punish them for their uselessness anyway. And it was dark, and they didn’t want to have to deal with that right now.

They curled up on their side, waiting for Ragnarok to mock them for believing him, but nothing happened. Gradually, they managed to fall asleep, undisturbed. When they were eventually woken up, it was by Lady Medusa, telling them that they needed to go collect even more souls to prevent another disgrace like that one.

Ragnarok seemed as eager as ever to get more souls to eat. He showed no signs of having been affected by their failure, and acted like he’d forgotten about it entirely. Crona decided to do the same. They’d pushed their luck once, and for now they were safe. They could worry about it later.


	6. Chapter 6

“What are you doing? You know they’re going to kill you, right?”

Crona clamped their hands over their ears, trying to block out Ragnarok’s voice. Maka had vanished a while back, leaving them alone under the school. They knew that a big fight was happening, or had happened, and that they should be trying to do something about it. But they were tired of fighting, and Maka had promised that they could go to school with her once this was over. They weren’t quite sure what that would mean, but after what Maka had done for them they would do anything to stay with her.

“More importantly, they’re going to kill me, and it will be all your fault!”

Ragnarok, however, had been much less impressed. He was doing his best to talk them into giving up and running, and the worst part was that he made sense. They’d already had most of the thoughts that he was putting into words. There was no way everyone at the academy would be as nice as Maka; that just wasn’t how things worked. And they were going to have to meet someone named Lord Death, which just sounded scary, and there were going to be people like the screw-headed man and the zombie and Crona couldn’t deal with any of that.

“We still have a chance, you know. If you begged, I might be willing to fly us out.”

They actually considered it for a moment, but they were pretty far underground, and the only way out was past Lady Medusa. If Maka had been wrong about being able to beat her, they didn’t want to make her even angrier. And if Maka was right, then what would they do? They didn’t know how to fend for themself, even if they were happy to be free of Lady Medusa.

(They knew they were a terrible child for thinking that. After all she’d done for them, raising them and feeding them and everything, they couldn’t even feel sad about her possible death, and how messed up was that?)

Right, Maka. In the end, she was reason enough to stay. She was so nice that it scared them a little, but as far as they could tell she didn’t have an ulterior motive. She genuinely wanted to be friends with them, and they couldn’t let her down.

Ragnarok seemed to pick up on their train of thought. “Do you really think she cares about you? She’s probably bragging about how easy it was to defeat the legendary demon sword. You should know better than to trust people not to hurt you.”

No, Maka was different. She had to be. She’d said she was going to defend them, and she seemed so sincere. She was really brave, standing up to people just for Crona’s sake. And if she could argue for them, they could at least turn themself in. They knew what they’d done, so it wasn’t like Lord Death could tell them anything they didn’t know.

“It’ll be okay,” they said, as much to themself as to Ragnarok. “They’ll probably lock us up for a while and not feed us, but we can take it. Maka said she’d argue for us, so it probably won’t be for too long.”

“What do _you_ know?” Ragnarok asked. While his tone was as belligerent as ever, he seemed gratified to have gotten a reaction. “You barely know Maka, and you’ve never met this Death guy. He’s probably going to come up with something much worse than anything Medusa could do.”

Crona thought for a moment about what could be worse and instantly regretted it. They knew they’d deserved it, that they still did, but it didn’t make them feel any better. Still, this was going to be different. Maka had said that no one would hate them, even after what they did to Soul. After what she’d done for them, they would trust her no matter what.

Besides, they wanted to make up for their past. They knew it was probably impossible; they were bad at their core and that was never going to change. But they could stop hurting people, at least, and that was something.

“Look, if you’re not going to see reason, that’s your problem. I don’t need you dragging me into this idiocy just because you’re suddenly feeling like a wimp.”

They did feel bad about bringing Ragnarok with them. They deserved whatever punishment they got, but he would end up suffering with them. Admittedly, he’d spend a lot of that time hitting them, but he would still be suffering.

Maybe Lord Death would be able to separate them? From what Maka said, he was the most powerful person around. And it would probably be the best thing, so that Ragnarok could finally get a chance to be free, away from their uselessness.

But they were selfish, and they didn’t want him to leave. The academy was scary, and even Maka was a little scary, and they knew they could rely on Ragnarok to be the same.

As if to prove that point, he pulled at their mouth. “Hey, pay attention, will you? This is our last chance to escape. All you have to do is admit I’m right, and we can be gone before this idiots know what hit them.”

“No!” Crona said, too loud. They swallowed and tried again. “I want to be a better person. I want to be worthy of Maka’s trust. I’m sorry to get you involved, but this is the right thing to do.”

There was a moment of silence before Ragnarok started screeching. “What is wrong with you? Are you suicidal? They’re going to kill us both! I don’t know how to make that any clearer!”

Crona had more or less expected his reaction, and had braced themself to get hit. The blows never came, however. Instead, they heard someone clearing their throat in the doorway. “Am I interrupting?” the screw-headed man asked. The red-haired man from the church stood next to him, his eyes watering but his expression firm.

Crona moved to apologize, but the screw-headed man held up his hand. “It doesn’t matter. I think Lord Death will want to speak with you, so come on.”

Ragnarok had vanished at some point during the conversation, leaving Crona to face the strange men alone. As much as they hated to think it, that might be for the best. The last thing they needed right now was for Ragnarok to provoke the people who would decide their punishment.

“Yes, sir,” Crona said, and followed the men to their fate.


	7. Chapter 7

They were so stupid. They should have known better than to think Lady Medusa was dead, but they had, they’d practically celebrated it like the terrible child they were. And now she was back and they didn’t know what to do.

It wasn’t like she was asking them to do anything particularly hard. They wouldn’t even have to kill anyone, or not directly. All they had to do was drop something into someone’s drink - someone who trusted them, even, so it would be easy.

But it wasn’t just someone. It was Ms Marie, who was always so nice to them and who did trust them. That was the problem, really. They knew they weren’t worthy of her trust, but they wanted to be. And yet here they were, considering betraying her.

Crona should never have come to the academy. They knew what they were like, they knew that sooner or later they’d ruin things for everyone. But they’d fooled people into liking them, and worse, they’d let themself like others back. They’d just been asking for trouble.

All they really wanted to do was hide in Mr. Corner. At least they couldn’t let him down. But he also didn’t feel safe, not anymore. Lady Medusa had already proven that she could find them anywhere. Just another thing they should have known but willfully ignored.

Ragnarok had been predictably unhelpful, advocating for doing it immediately. “Why bother waiting around worrying?”

“Don’t you like Ms Marie?” Crona had asked. It was hard to tell with Ragnarok, but they’d thought he at least tolerated her.

“Of course I do, she gives me candy. But she’s not worth dying for!”

He started laughing, so Crona tuned him out. They supposed asking him to face a moral dilemma would be a bit much, even if he had mellowed out a little. They kind of envied him for that. He didn’t seem to have a problem doing any of the terrible things they did.

They immediately felt guilty for the thought. They knew that Ragnarok didn’t have much of a choice about it. He was stuck with them, and they couldn’t blame him for trying to make the best of it. They certainly wouldn’t want to be stuck with themself if they could avoid it.

Ragnarok stopped laughing and squinted down at them. “Come on, Crona,” he whined. “It’s not like she actually cares about you as a person. We both know she just feels sorry for you.”

They hated when Ragnarok made sense. It was always a sign that something was about to go horribly wrong.

Honestly, though, they’d be happy to accept Ms Marie’s pity. It would be better than the hatred they so clearly deserved, if they were thinking of doing something like this to someone so nice.

“Look, all this thinking isn’t doing you any good,” Ragnarok said. “And we both know what Medusa will do to us if you don’t do it. So I say we should just get it over with, and then you don’t have to think about it anymore! If we’re really lucky, she’ll even offer me candy while we’re there.”

“That just makes me feel worse,” Crona said. Ms Marie probably would, after all. She’d invite them in with a smile and treat them with kindness even as they stabbed her in the back.

“Pfft, it’s not your fault she’s stupid. She should know better than to trust people like that. I mean, she trusted you immediately! She’s just asking to get hurt.”

Crona wished they could argue. They hated that he was right, hated that they would be the one to show Ms Marie the truth. They would have given anything to change it.

But that was how the world was, and they were too weak and cowardly to do anything about it. “I guess,” they said, ready to drop the subject. “We can visit her tomorrow.”

That would give them one more night to pretend they weren’t a terrible person, at least. And they were just planting a listening device, right? Surely it wouldn’t be that bad. Ms Marie was strong, she could handle having it inside her. She’d be fine. She had to be.

“Okay, but make sure you don’t act suspicious! I know that will be hard for you, but we don’t need to get on her bad side. She might be an idiot, but she’s also a Death Scythe.” Ragnarok flexed an arm, showing off his nonexistent muscles. “Sure, I could still take her, even shrunk like this, but I don’t want to have to clean up after your mess. So don’t screw it up!”

Crona nodded. Ragnarok had a point: Ms Marie was a Death Scythe. Not only that, she lived with one of the DWMA’s best meisters who had already beaten Lady Medusa once. They were still doing something terrible, but at least it wouldn’t hurt anyone too badly. They could still try to be a better person.

They wished they could believe it.


	8. Chapter 8

Crona knew what Medusa was capable of, even if no one else  did. Sure, they’d all claimed they did, but then they played right into her hands by accepting her surrender. And now she was free and Stein was missing and it was all Crona’s fault. They should never have put the snake in Ms Marie’s drink; they should have made everyone understand how dangerous Medusa was. They should have done _something_.

At least they were doing something now. As usual, it was probably too little too late, but at least they were going to try. And this was something they could do that no one else could: they knew Medusa’s lairs better than anyone at the academy, and they were pretty sure they knew where she’d go.

The fact that Lord Death was willing to let them go was kind of surprising, though. They had half expected him to lock them up again, but he’d let them go without putting up a fight! He was practically begging to be taken advantage of.

And Ms Marie, too. After everything they’d done, when she’d told them to look at her, they’d been convinced she was going to hit them. It was the least of what they deserved, after all. But she was such a kind person, even when she was angry, and it kind of scared them. They’d shown her that they couldn’t be trusted, but she volunteered to come with them anyway. She hadn’t tried to stop them from going, even if she was mad at them.

It was probably wrong, but knowing she was going to be there made them feel much better. At least there was someone who had a chance of succeeding.

But she couldn’t do it without them, so they were going to do as much as they could. For now, that was mostly just packing a bag for the journey. The castle they were thinking of wasn’t too far away, but they wanted to make sure they’d have enough food and water just in case. If nothing else, it would keep Ragnarok from complaining too much.

Sid was watching them pack, of course. Someone needed to make sure they weren’t trying to sabotage the DWMA again. They understood, and were trying not to let his presence bother them. It wasn’t like they didn’t have other things to worry about, like the fact that they were planning to kill their own mother, the woman who’d raised them and taken care of them and –

No, they couldn’t let themself be caught up in their fear again. They were going to do something good for once. They were going to make a difference.

They did feel bad about not saying goodbye before they left. They were trying to stop hurting the people who cared about them, but Maka would probably worry when she found out they were missing. They didn’t really have a choice, though. They had to find Stein as soon as possible, which meant they couldn’t stop to say goodbye. Besides, she was getting ready to fight the Kishin, and Crona didn’t want to distract her.

That was probably their fault too, really. It was just another of their mistakes that Maka would have to fix. They knew she could do it, even if she shouldn’t have to. It was the same with Ms Marie, really. Between them, they’d clean up all of Crona’s messes, because they were such good people and Crona really wasn’t.

They realized they’d been staring unmoving at the pantry when Ragnarok leaned over their head to look as well. “You realize she’s going to kill us, right?” He squinted at a bag of marshmallows. “Ooh, those look good, make sure you grab some.”

Crona did so. “Probably, but as long as we find Professor Stein he and Ms Marie will be able to stop her. I have to what I can, even if I’m just a distraction.”

Ragnarok pulled at their mouth. “That’s stupid. You don’t have to anything but stay alive.”

Crona kept packing mechanically, and after a moment Ragnarok let go.

“I’m not going to be able to talk you out of this, am I? Of all the times for you to grow a backbone…”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t stay afraid forever. I need to prove that I can be the person Maka thinks I am.”

Ragnarok sighed. “It always comes back to her, doesn’t it. She doesn’t even have a good rack. But fine, whatever. Medusa needs to pay for what she’s done to me anyway. I mean, sticking me with an idiot like you? That alone is enough to deserve a death sentence.”

Crona smiled. “Thank you, Ragnarok.”  
“Don’t thank me yet! When we get back, you’re going to owe me a million candies, at least.”

Crona nodded, and Ragnarok went back to making suggestions about what they should take. When the bag was finally full, and contained a reasonable mix of sweets and actual food, they stood up reluctantly. “I guess this is it,” they said.

Ragnarok hit them lightly. “It’s too late to back out now, sucker. You can go meet with Marie. I’m going to stay low so I don’t have to listen to her nagging. Make sure you stop to feed me on a regular basis; I’m being nice enough to come with you, after all!”

He retreated into Crona’s body, leaving them alone but for their silent bodyguard. They squared their shoulders and took a deep breath, turning to Sid. “I’m ready,” they lied.


	9. Chapter 9

Crona wasn’t sure what they found more surprising: that they were alive, or that it looked like everything was going to turn out fine.

Okay, no, that wasn’t entirely true. They knew as soon as Maka had entered the fight that the Kishin was going down. The fact that they were alive to see it was rather more unexpected. They’d known from the beginning that they wouldn’t be able to kill Medusa, no matter how much it needed to be done. After all she’d done for and to them, they were well aware that all they could do was try to distract her so that Marie could save Stein.

Admittedly, they hadn’t expected it to be quite so literal. They’d been completely useless and ended up needing Maka to save them yet again. They’d wanted to do something for her, but they were just too weak.

At least they were able to save her for once, even if it had taken no skill on their part. They felt bad for doing that to Ragnarok, but the world needed Maka a lot more than it needed them. More selfishly, they had finally been able to stop relying on Maka and start giving back.

Really, they would have been content if they’d died there, but when Medusa was killed her destabilizing influence vanished. Ragnarok had promptly hardened their blood enough to keep them from bleeding out, and they regained consciousness shortly thereafter. They’d immediately gotten up to try to watch Maka fight, despite Dr Stein’s apparent disapproval. They were used to the pain, and as long as they weren’t actively dying they would do what they could to support Maka.

They managed to stay upright until it was clear that everything would work out. They started to relax, at which point they received a swift reminder that hardening their blood didn’t actually heal their wound. They tried to collapse as unobtrusively as possible. Maka and her friends would need the attention more, and Crona didn’t want to be a bother.

Eventually Naigus noticed them lying there and carried them to the infirmary. They apologized the whole way, until she finally stopped in the middle of the hallway. “Look,” she said. “I’m sure you have plenty of things to apologize for, but getting hurt fighting Medusa? Not one of them.”

Crona swallowed. “... Thank you.”

Naigus grunted in acknowledgement and kept walking. The rest of the journey was made in silence, until they made it to the infirmary. Naigus laid them on the bed gently, and began to say something. Crona wasn’t sure what, though, because as soon as they closed their eyes they fell back into unconsciousness.

They slept as much as they could over the next few days, avoiding both the pain and the questions of what to do next. They woke up once to see Maka standing over them, and tried to ask if they’d done a good job. They passed out again before they could hear the answer, and the next time they woke up, they were alone again.

This worked well for them, as when they had finally gotten their fill of sleep there was no one around to see them break down. It was stupid, and they knew it. Everyone was alive and safe and they were all going to be okay. Medusa was gone and they could finally have a life for themself. But frankly, they were terrified.

They’d set out to kill their mother, and they’d done it, indirectly or not. She’d been right about them all along. Except they hadn’t even been able to do it right, they’d needed Maka to step in, just like always. And now they’d betrayed anyone who might have been willing to help them, and they didn’t really have skills other than killing people, and –

There was a groan from behind them. “My head hurts, and I don’t even have a head at the moment!”

Ragnarok sprang into being atop their head and promptly winced. “Ohh, that was a mistake. Hey, dumbass, can you not try to get us killed again?”

“Sorry, Ragnarok.”

Ragnarok harrumphed. “Yeah, sure, whatever. At least that Maka chick appreciates what you did for her. It still wasn’t worth it, of course, but at least it’s something.”

There was that. They had saved Maka, so if they were exiled again it would be for a good cause. Hearing Ragnarok express any sort of positive reaction to it was shocking, but it was good to know that he approved, or at least didn’t disapprove more than usual.

“So, now what? You’re running out of people to betray, so you might want to find a new plan.”

Ah, that sounded much more like Ragnarok. It was good to know that he was recovering too. “I don’t know. I was hoping we could stay at the academy, but if we can’t, I don’t know how I’ll deal with it.” They could feel themself shaking just thinking about it.

Ragnarok snorted. “They better let us stay. That girl owes us, and since she’s the one who saved the world that means everyone owes us. And if they don’t, we can always find somewhere less boring to go!”

It was a nice thought, but after Maka had saved them so many times Crona wasn’t sure she actually owed them. For that matter, she probably wouldn’t have much input about what would happen to them. But if she got a chance, she’d argue in their favor, which meant they had a decent chance. Maka was stubborn, after all.

Stubborn like a hippo, they thought, and smiled. Ragnarok seized on it immediately. “Oh good, are we going somewhere less boring? I’m sick of this place; too many rules.”

“We can’t leave. I don’t want to leave my friends behind.”

“Fine, fine. But you owe me big time, okay? There’s nothing saying I can’t change my mind about being willing to stay.”

“Okay,” Crona said. “We can try to stop by the kitchen on the way back to our room.”

“Good. I expect you to fix me a gourmet meal, after all you’ve put me through!”

They stood up with every intention of complying. As it turned out, though, Naigus wasn’t happy with having them out of bed, much less trying to get to the kitchens. They were sent back to their bed under threat of a sedative. As nice as it was to have someone worried about their well-being, they had to shake their head to clear it of images of Medusa’s labs.

They were at DWMA now. They were safe, and one way or another everything was going to turn out okay.

They repeated it like a mantra until they fell asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

None of Crona’s friends understood why they chose to stay in the same room they’d been imprisoned in. “You’re a student, you’re entitled to stay in the dorms,” Maka had told them. “You don’t have to stay in such a depressing place.”

Crona knew that, but they hated to intrude. The DWMA had already done so much for them, and asking for more just felt greedy. Besides, it was still someplace familiar, even if it didn’t quite feel safe anymore. After everything that had happened, familiar was more than enough.

They had trouble articulating that, though, so the questions continued. Kid had recently gone so far as to invite them to stay at Gallows Manor. “This way you wouldn’t feel like you were relying on the academy’s resources, and I can assure you that you wouldn’t be intruding,” he’d said. “I don’t want to pressure you into anything, but you shouldn’t feel obligated to isolate yourself.”

Crona had sort of laughed it off at the time, but they were still thinking about it as they went home. They knew Kid had a lot of empty rooms at the mansion, so it probably wouldn’t be too much trouble. And it would be nice to be closer to their friends.

On the other hand, while they’d been to the mansion a few times it wasn’t exactly familiar yet. Was it really worth giving that up for the sake of convenience? What about when they didn’t want to interact with anybody?

But it would be a place Medusa hadn’t tainted for them. It was hard for them to even imagine, and they were seriously considering moving just to find out.

In the end, they did what they always did when they had to make a hard decision: they asked Ragnarok. He was almost never helpful, but it seemed only polite, especially for decisions that would affect him too.

They posed the question as soon as they were back in the room. Ragnarok hadn’t bothered to pay attention for most of their visit, on the grounds that Kid was boring and not worth it, but now that the were alone he’d probably be listening. “How would you feel about moving in with Kid and Liz and Patty? I know Kid isn’t your favorite person, but you like Patty, right?”

Sure enough, Ragnarok appeared immediately. “She’s better than most of your annoying friends, even if she asks stupid questions half the time. But Kid’s even more stupid than the rest of you idiots if he thinks you’re isolated! Did he really manage to forget about me?” His grin became a leer. “Maybe we should remind him.”

Crona ignored the suggestion with practiced ease, instead focusing on placating Ragnarok. “I’m sure he just wasn’t thinking, Ragnarok. I don’t think anyone could forget about you.”

“Then explain your idiot friends!” He crossed his arms. “Whenever I try to join your conversations, they’re always, ‘oh, Ragnarok, we were just trying to talk to stupid Crona, what are you doing here?’ If I have to listen to your boring conversations, they could at least try to include me some of the time.”

Crona’s eyes widened. Their first thought was that Ragnarok was jealous, but that sounded really out of character for him. He was probably just complaining like usual. Still, they scrambled to do damage control, just in case. “I’m sorry, is there something I need to do?”

Ragnarok sighed. “Calm down; I can feel your heart racing and it’s annoying. Besides, it’s not your fault your friends are idiots. I mean, who else would choose to spend time with you?”

Well. That was suspiciously nice, at least as far as Ragnarok was concerned. Really, when they thought about it, he seemed a lot less angry lately. Sure, he still insulted them constantly, but otherwise it was almost like he was trying to be helpful?

They shoved that thought to the back of their mind. It was just weird, and besides, they weren’t about to question a reprieve that could end at any moment. “Ummm,” they said. “Does that mean you’re okay with us moving in with them?”

“Yeah, whatever. A mansion that big is bound to have a good kitchen, right?”

And Ragnarok sounding that muted was just wrong. Crona knew what they were about to do had a high chance of backfiring, but at least that would make Ragnarok more himself. They took a deep breath. “Ragnarok? … Thank you.”

“Wha? Why are you getting mushy all of a sudden? It’s gross, save it for your dumb friends.” He sounded genuinely confused, but at least he was being obnoxious about it.

He vanished before Crona could say anything else, which was probably for the best. They had no idea what they would have said next anyway. Still, they had Ragnarok’s reluctant blessing, and they were going to make the most of it. It would be nice to have a room they could decorate and claim as their own, even if it was in someone else’s house.

More importantly, they were going to start making more of an effort to include Ragnarok. It would be weird, and he would almost certainly complain, but he complained about everything. Crona knew that if he was actually unhappy, he would make it apparent.

The idea that Ragnarok was trying to consider their feelings was bizarre, but it seemed to be true, and they appreciated it more than they could say. The least they could do was return the favor.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this entire fic was an excuse to reconcile my love of Crona and my love of Ragnarok. I hope you enjoyed this self-indulgent ending!


End file.
